What happened to the Rishi Sunak I knew at school?
Strange dreams last night about the Lord of Darkness. He was wearing a cloak and had fangs like Dracula. He swept through my bedroom window, bit me on the neck, stole my piggy bank then galloped away on Sesame. Things not much better when I woke up. Daddy moaning about his HBOS shares over breakfast and talking with a not v nice look on his face about the cost of horse feed again. Tried to go for an early morning ride but it was hopeless. The pheasant situation is totally out of control. No one coming from the City to shoot, so the darn things are running amok. Can barely ride in a straight line for them flying out of hedges and making poor Sesame bolt!
This is a v worrying effect of the banking crisis which I haven’t seen any coverage of in the papers. May have to write a memo. In the meantime, am thinking of having a go with Mummy’s air rifle. After all, it’s food going to waste when we should all be practising thrift.
Wednesday
Mervyn on the phone again. Told him Gids doesn’t want to speak because he keeps getting the blame for the FTSE crashing. Mervyn said not to be so silly and to put him on the line immediately. I’m afraid I had to take quite a stern tone. Jed couldn’t have been any clearer in his email from California. Our number one priority right now is not to let Gordon and Mandy pin the blame on us for the collapse of the entire world economy.
Took a pop with the air gun this evening and managed to shoot a squirrel. But Mummy refused to have anything to do with it. Said she wasn’t Heston Blumenthal.
Thursday
Strange phone call from Bev at Labour — wants to meet up tonight. Sounded urgent. Told her we still didn’t have a safe Tory seat for someone of her Body Mass Index but she said it wasn’t about that. Then added: ‘Quite the reverse.’ What can she mean?
Am just back from top secret meeting. Can’t say too much yet. But if this were to turn out to be an astounding offer to become Head of Ambience Management at Downing Street, then it would not be something to be snorted at — now would it? Indeed not. It would be a huge salary increase and, as Peter might or might not have pointed out to me in his Special Cubicle, could mean the difference between keeping Sesame in the manner to which she has become accustomed and ‘you know, something absolutely horrible happening to her, quite frankly. It’s a no-brainer.’ Everyone must make tough decisions at this difficult time.
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in