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A. In answer to your first question I am afraid a lecture hall is not a schoolroom. Speakers should not have their momentum halted by solipsists who have lost the thread. It is simply too bad if people cannot keep up. As to your second question, it has been noted that early English pop stars would sing in American accents in imitation of Elvis Presley. It should not be assumed, however, that the widely observed Hawking delivery used by scientists is a similar veiled tribute to the professor. The reason why some scientists speak like this is because they are often socially awkward anyway and invariably formulating their complex thoughts as they go along.
Q. This summer I am giving a garden party in honour of my daughter and her husband. The guest list is theirs and the invitations are sent from me. A few couples have asked if they may bring their offspring. These children are not ‘at breast’ and most are quite old enough to be left at home for the afternoon. Bearing in mind that everyone crossing my threshold will cost me upwards of £100, how should I deal with this?
C.H., by email
A. These people sound pushy but perhaps they do not realise how grand your party will be. They may think it will be some sort of hippy picnic to which the presence of picturesque children would only add charm. So why not enthuse that it would be lovely to see the children. Will they come and have a picnic on the lawn, provided by you, with their nannies? You would love to seat them at table but the caterers have quoted for a certain number of places and these have already all been allocated. Five chipolatas each with boxed Ribena and crisps will do the trick nicely. Bear in mind that the exuberance potential of the party may be compromised if parents are anxious/guilty about having left their children behind.
Q. I know that your estimable column is not meant as a vehicle for airing personal vendettas, but I must draw your attention to the rather hypocritical question posed by R.S. of Tsetsebjwe, Botswana, that expressed surprise at not having received an apology after an in-car vomit event. R.S. is known to me — not least for the fact that, when I had a Land-Rover some 42 years ago, he relieved himself in it, somewhat the worse for drink. As far as I recall no apology was issued then or since. What goes around, etc.
S.J., London SW18
A. Thank you for submitting this postscript to R.S.’s problem of 27 June. It bears out the truth that what we find most objectionable in others is often the mirror image of our own secret shame. Perhaps by writing to Dear Mary R.S. was subconsciously trying to make his own apology to you, 40 years on. I am sure you will forgive him.
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