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A. Beam pleasantly at the neighbour as you inquire whether she might consider renting one of her two garages to you as a parking space. You have noticed that there is usually an empty space there and you would enjoy the security of having a designated place near your house. You could only afford a peppercorn rent but would she consider it and get back to you? Your having given her this food for thought should ensure the nuisance will be self-resolving.
Q. When having guests round to my new rented apartment one of the first questions I am often asked is, ‘Do you rent or have you bought?’ I often feel they make assumptions about earnings based on the answer. How can I avoid the question without seeming impolite?
— Michael, London SW9
A. Reply, as though astonished, ‘How extraordinary that you should ask! Do you know every single person who has walked through this door has asked the same thing? I am beginning to think people are going to make assumptions about my earnings based on what I answer, so… [wearing a teasing smirk] do you mind if I don’t say either way?’
Q. I dread tradesmen asking ‘Is it OK if I use your toilet?’, which invariably they do, if they are going to spend any time in someone’s house. Do you have a plausible excuse for saying no? I can’t bear the thought of them sitting on my loo seat, even though it sounds mean to deny them.
— J.F., Wiltshire
A. You need feel no guilt in denying the request. It is just as much an expression of the tradesman’s atavistic urge to do territorial marking as it is a biological need. Pre-empt the problem by saying as you usher him in, ‘A word of warning — give the toilets a wide berth for your own safety. We’ve all gone down with a very infectious bug.’
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