Mary Killen
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Q. The other day I had to see my English teacher between hockey and changing for a play. Was it bad manners to go to his study in my games kit (a short skirt and polo top)?
— Name withheld, Marlborough
A. Thank you for raising this important question of etiquette. Teachers see their pupils in games kit all the time on the games field and are aware of the tight schedules of time-tabling. So, unless there are rules against it, your appearance in his study in games kit would not be judged insolent. In the workplace, it is a different matter. There has been a noticeable rise in open-plan offices of men who have cycled to work going directly to their workstations and spending a couple of hours there before changing into their suits. This form of self-basting presenteeism is unacceptable as it supplies colleagues with what is known as ‘too much information’.
Q. A really good friend went to a lot of trouble to find and send me a weird-looking book that she thinks will change my life. She now lives abroad and, while we used to constantly be in touch on Facebook and by email, I have not contacted her for about six weeks because I just cannot face reading this book. Apart from anything else, I am a student with other stuff to read. I don’t want to hurt her feelings by admitting that I cannot be bothered to read something that she, who obviously cares about me, feels so strongly about.
— Name and address withheld
A. Why not pay another student a tenner to read it and present a bespoke résumé to shed light on why the book might have particular relevance for you? You might learn something. You can then resume the relationship.
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