What happened to the Rishi Sunak I knew at school?
‘Welcome to Lambeth Council planning department. Please say the name of the person you wish to speak to.’
‘Russell Butchers,’ I said, very clearly.
‘Calling Renee Labuschagne. If this is incorrect, say no.’
‘No!’
‘Please say the name of the person you wish to speak to.’
‘Russell Butchers.’
‘Calling Rachel Wiltshire. If this is incorrect…’
‘No!’
‘Please say the name…’
‘Russ-ell Butch-ers.’
‘Calling Renee Labuschagne…’
Eventually, I managed to get to the switchboard. They couldn’t find the elusive Butchers for a while, then he came on the line, a laid-back-sounding Aussie.
‘Can you tell me why you didn’t notify me of the plans to rip my roof apart, as you are legally required to do?’
‘It says here we did send you a letter. We sent two letters, in fact. To 34a.’
‘I’m at 34; 34a is the upstairs flat. The one who submitted the application.’
‘Oh.’
‘So, to sum up, you’ve consulted the people who put in the roof lights application, twice, on their own application, but you’ve not consulted the people who own the flat downstairs, who jointly own the roof and might not want it ripped apart?’
‘Yes. It would seem so. I can send you a letter out now.’
‘But the neighbour consultation period ends today.’
‘Yes.’
I told him I would email him my objections, which centred on the fact that a) I bore joint legal responsibility for the roof; b) installing vaulted ceilings would mean re-locating the water tank and disrupting my water supply; and c) my lease would have to be rewritten to make clear I could not take responsibility for anything roof-like that now went wrong.
He sighed. ‘That’s not really a matter for us. We just decide whether it’s allowed under planning rules.’
‘But I jointly own that roof.’
‘Ownership’s not really something we would look at.’
‘If I applied to put a hole in your roof would you look at it then?’
‘Not really. We don’t consider things like that.’
Of course they don’t. Silly me. I should have known.
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