Competition | 14 February 2009

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  Lucy Vickery

  Competition | 14 February 2009

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Alexander Larman

What happened to the Rishi Sunak I knew at school?

Sky at night, Murdoch’s delight; Sky in the morning, ditto.
If you can’t beat them, give them an Asbo.
You can lead a house to market, but you can’t sell it.
Those who can teach; those who can’t become Ofsted inspectors.
Bill Greenwell

It’s an ill wind that doesn’t drive a turbine.
Too many crooks spoil the crime statistics.
Waste not or risk a council fine.
People in glasshouses could grow tomatoes.
Derek Morgan

A banker and your money are soon parted.
If you can’t beat ’em, cry foul.
Pride comes before I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
Marry in haste, repent in the tabloids.
Basil Ransome-Davies

An apple a day is only a fifth of the way.
There’s not many fish in the sea.
One good turn deserves Cowell’s vote.
If you can’t stand Heat, get The Spectator.
Steve Baldock

Carry out a statutory health and safety assessment before you leap.
Many hands make a manicurist wealthy.
J. Seery

An Apple a day keeps Microsoft at bay.
Don’t put all your eggs in one fertility clinic.
Chris O’Carroll

Nothing recedes like excess.
In for a million, in for a trillion.
W.J. Webster

The proof of the pudding is in the nutritional information on the packet.
There’s danger in E-numbers.
Jenny Lowe

A little knowledge is the normal thing.
A watched pot never boils because Putin’s turned the gas off.
Shirley Curran

Every raincloud has a silver iodide lining.
A pound in the hand is worth two in the bank.
Katie Mallett

The early bird is an advertiser’s cliché.
All that glisters now is bling.
Alanna Blake

Still water runs best from the tap.
Beauty is Botox deep.
John O’Byrne
 
A penny saved is a penny lost.
Marry at leisure, repent in haste.
Virginia Price Evans

Judge a book by its author photograph.
A fool and his money invariably bought to let.
Adrian Fry

No. 2585: In brief
Ernest Hemingway once said that his best work was a story he wrote in just six words. You are invited to submit the memoirs of ten famous figures from history or well-known fictional characters, using only six words. Entries to ‘Competition 2585’ by 26 February or email lucy@spectator.co.uk.