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Q. I am planning a surprise party for a close friend’s birthday. There will be dinner and a dance. The problem is that an (untested) youth is doing the disco and I am worried about what sort of music he will play. Being completely unmusical myself I am in no position to dictate a play list but I have a lot of people coming who fancy themselves as good dancers and I would not wish to thwart them. Yet, since the party is a total surprise to everyone (including the other guests), neither do I want to enlist anyone’s help before the event.
Name and address withheld
A. Do not worry. These days disc jockeys expect party-givers to have access to broadband Wifi. Dancers are then free to make requests for the music they want to hear and the disc jockey downloads it in moments from a website named iTunes. You will be expected to pay for this but the cost is negligible.
Q. A teenage friend of my daughter brought a good-looking young man to stay. When I asked her whether he was her boyfriend, she said not really. It was more of a sexual relationship than a romantic one. I don’t think I’m being prudish or judgmental — in a way I admire her honesty — but it’s not an arrangement I’d want to encourage in my own family. I don’t wish to connive in it as I feel I have a responsibility to their parents and to my children. Am I right in refusing to allow them to sleep together under my roof? How do I get out of this?
Name and address withheld
A. Explain to the teenagers that your Feng Shui expert has recently cleansed the house and you remember her saying that you should avoid any bestial energies such as greed or carnality being allowed to pollute the new atmosphere. Until such time as their relationship has moved on to a more elevated plane, you sadly cannot facilitate their appetites.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.
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