Already a subscriber? Log in
S.P., London W11
A. It is unfortunate that your gallant intentions were stymied but — no matter how many mutual friends’ names you were able to drop as endorsements — it would, indeed, have been faintly Fred West for you, a stranger, to offer Mrs Cameron a lift. If you are a very loyal Tory supporter, you could instead have offered her your car and volunteered to run behind it until she reached her own dwelling.
Q. My husband and I have just bought a new house in Guildford. We have inherited a gardener from the previous owners. Our gardener has shocked us this Christmas by putting up hanging baskets and Christmas wreaths, and by wheeling out a moss-covered polystyrene reindeer from the garage. How can I prevent this and other atrocities from happening in the garden as the year rolls on? I see we will be on a collision course. I do not want to hurt the man’s feelings.
Name and address withheld
A. Spare his feelings and yourself any power struggles by telling the man the white lie that you have bought the property because the garden so closely replicates in size and positioning another garden — make up a name such as ‘Heavenland’ — where your husband was very happy as a child and it is your ambition to recreate that garden as accurately as possible. Every time he then tries to introduce something which offends your own sensibilities you can invoke the name of the mythical perfect garden and say, ‘Oh, what a shame we can’t have that. But they never had it at Heavenland!’
Q. Can you shed any light on a song called ‘The Nicky Haslam Calypso’ which does not seem to be in the charts, but everyone is talking about?
A.L., Fordingbridge
A. Please go to YouTube and type in ‘Crykes’. There you should have the most enjoyable experience of seeing Christopher Sykes singing his song about not being invited to Nicky’s famous party.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.
Also in Society
Also by Mary Killen
Latest
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in