Already a subscriber? Log in
A. The sale you mention will take place at Chatsworth between 5 and 7 October, with viewing between 1 and 4 October. Readers will sympathise with you and also with your mother. Many a pointless household object can become the repository of sentiment, purely through mental association, longevity of service, or even longevity of storage. You might take a tip from another small country house owner whose mother was won round to the idea of a sale by the following method. The son photographed a handful of items he wanted to dispose of and supplied pithy resumés of their ‘family histories’ on sticky labels on the back. A few days of handling these reconciled the mother to the physical removal of the real things. The photographs, she saw, were more conveniently sized totems. They too could trigger memories and atmosphere. She now claims relief to be rid of the clutter but not of the ability to relive the times when these objects were ‘peaking’.
Q. We have taken a house in Italy and are bringing out some good old friends to stay. Now we learn that some very friendly neighbours in England will be three miles away during the same week. We will certainly run into them while we are out there and they will definitely want to meet up. My husband will go mad if we see them even once but I do not want to offend them. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
A. Grasp the nettle. Ring the neighbour crooning that you have been maddened to hear that they will be there at the same time because you will not be able to see them. Say that it will not be a holiday for you as you have a VIP coming to stay and have to comply with all sorts of security regulations and anyone coming over will have to be vetted. Will they forgive you for not saying who the VIP is and for not asking them over? In the meantime, can you book them to come over to you for dinner when you are all back?
Q. I broke a bone in my hip when falling onto the train platform at Heathrow. I was rushed to hospital in Hayes where they solved the problem and I am now recovering. My problem is that, although I am in my seventies, I did not have a hip replacement, nor did I need one. How can I stop mentally lazy friends from circulating the untruthful news that I have had such an age-defining operation as a hip replacement?
A.C., London W8
A. You are right. Friends will be tempted to use the shorthand of saying, ‘She had a hip replacement’, rather than going through what really happened. Pre-empt this by telling people that you have broken a bone at the top of your leg.
Also in Society
Also by Mary Killen
Latest
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in