Dear Mary | 22 March 2008

Q. I am dreading Easter as my children are always given so many eggs by their various godparents and grandparents. This is to say nothing of those they bring home from hunts. I consider it terribly bad for them to eat so much chocolate but since each egg has been effectively endorsed by the grown-up or Easter Bunny who supplied it, I don’t know how to manage this dilemma. What should I do?
A.B., London W8

A. There is not much that can be done at this late stage, but you could prepare for next Easter by putting aside some of this year’s eggs so that they will be well and truly past their sell-by date and fairly disgusting (though harmless) to eat by Easter 2009, when you can release them to your children before the other egg mountains start arriving. They will act as sickeners to pre-empt them gorging and will help them to decide that Easter Eggs are often not as nice as they look.

Q. As a man in my mid-forties I still look remarkably youthful, though I say it myself. The one area which is a problem is my forehead where the frown lines are becoming somewhat embedded. I would have Botox like a shot, so to speak, were it not for the fact that the people who work for me are very beady and would certainly notice if my frown lines disappeared overnight. I admit to being vain but please advise, Mary, how can a man get away with having Botox without precipitating inappropriate teasing from junior colleagues?
A.W., London SW1
 
A. Simply tell your colleagues that you are undergoing the procedure because you judge that your frown lines are making you look worried. And looking worried is bad for business.
 

Q. I am shortly to attend a lunch where lots of my friends will be. However, I am rather dreading sitting next to one particular old codger who has become a bit repetitive in his old age. I gather there will be no places at table and wonder how I can orchestrate it so that we do not sit next to each other — without my making an unseemly dash to get away from him.
Name and address withheld
 
A. Telephone the old gent on the morning of the lunch. Allow half an hour of chatting. When you arrive at the table you can joke that since the two of you have nothing further to say to each other following your lengthy chat that morning you had better sit separately.

Q. I have often wondered whether tablecloths are U or non-U. What do you say, Mary?
A.N.W., London NW1

A. There is no strict rule on tablecloths although where valuable tables are concerned it may be better to protect the table from damage to make your guests feel less anxious. Where tablecloths are used they must be clean, crisp (a starched cloth is best) and monochrome. If children are to be present, it is wise to use a large (ideally starched) linen napkin as a mini tablecloth in front of each child. In this way their messes need not require the entire cloth to be changed if no other spillages have occurred.

If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.