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— K.M., London WC1
A. Invite him to lunch with a small group, including another man who spits. Seat the two spitters opposite each other. Orchestrate for the other spitter to leave first and for your fellow
guests to open up a discussion on spitting and its causes, culminating in the (correct) conclusion that a good dentist can usually put an end to the problem. In this manner you can pave the way
towards helping your potential new suitor, who may well volunteer during the discussion that he, too, occasionally spits.
Q. A friend from school who lives in the country often comes to stay when she wants to spend a night or two in London. I enjoy her company, with one proviso. She talks a lot and is very
entertaining — in fact her anecdotes are almost a performance. They are in no way impersonal, with me as a faceless audience, but the trouble is that when I want to interject to tell her
something very relevant to what she has said, she will brook no interruption. I have no wish to sabotage her theatrical momentum, but if I don’t try, it means that by the time she is ready
for me to talk, I have forgotten what I wanted to say. It is immensely frustrating.
— Name withheld, London W8
A. You say this friend comes to stay with you quite often and clearly there is an element of sponging. Why not ask her to polish silver or do a bit of mending while you are chatting? Very few
people can chat full-time while concentrating on another task so, using this method, you will soon see the conversational balance restored as her absorption in the task at hand will prompt her to
draw you out more.
Q. I went to a dinner in the Garrick to celebrate someone’s lifetime of achievement. There were quite a few distinguished people in the room, including, some would say, myself. However, the
woman I was next to announced as I sat down, ‘I am very sorry for you having to sit next to me because I am just a boring old woman.’ What should I have replied to put her at her ease?
— Name and address withheld
A. You could have said, ‘Oh good. That will make two of us because my wife/girlfriend says I am the most awful crashing bore. How nice to meet a kindred spirit.’
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