Taki
Already a subscriber? Log in
But let’s put some things in perspective. The north-east has been shut down for two days and it will take another two to open up. The stock market is closed, as are all modes of transport. My poor maid’s house in Queen’s has been crushed by an uprooted tree and she’s homeless. Still, the Japanese got hit not once but twice with atomic bombs, and a few years later were producing better cars than Detroit, not hard to do, I grant you. Less than 20 years later Tokyo came up with one of the greatest Olympics ever.
Eleven years after the twin towers went down, Mother Nature is causing havoc in the Big Bagel. The only two men who drove in from Jersey on Monday morning to work were two Greek barbers, Panayotis and Dimitris, unlike most Puerto Rican and Hispanic labourers who spend mañana in bed. Why is it that Greeks outside Greece prosper, ask sociologists the world over. Ditto for Orientals. The Korean grocer was as always unpleasant but ever present.
Well, that’s an easy one. But first I’ll tell you what Chinese and Greek government officials have in common: stealing. The Chinese premier Wen Jiabao has been accused by an American newspaper of having amassed billions while in power, and we all know that the easiest way to riches in the birthplace of electrolysis is the Greek parliament. Outside their respective countries, both races do well. The Chinese better than most, in fact. They are the highest-earning, best-educated and fastest-growing racial group in America the Beautiful, but their sense of humour is less than zero. They also do lousy laundry. Greek Americans talk too loud, like the folks back home, but are honest, religious and family minded. But I’m getting away from Sandy, the hurricane to end all storms.
Incidentally, an added horror to the storm is seeing Mayor Bloomberg on the telly non-stop. Bloomberg’s genius, apart from making billions, is self-promotion. Noo Yawk’s quality of life has gone down dramatically since he became numero uno, with serious crime way up and daily shootings of cops by mostly black and immigrant thugs. Before Sandy cleaned up the streets, walking in the city could be a most disgusting experience. The sidewalks covered in spittle, people pushing their way everywhere, and Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Afghani drivers leaning on their horns in their foul-smelling taxis. None of the above is legal, yet Bloomberg does not enforce the laws like his predecessor, Rudy Giuliani, but instead gives us daily lessons on how to live our lives. It has come down to this. A vulgarian like Bloomberg telling me what to eat and drink.
Now the hurricane has given him yet another opportunity to play Napoleon. Mandatory evacuation of people in low-lying areas has been going on for 24 hours, and Fire Island, the homosexual Shangri-La off Long Island, has been evacuated. Not a queen in sight. Atlantic City is deserted, the one-armed bandits motionless, with only a few strands of Donald Trump’s hair swirling around the boardwalk. Parks, bridges and tunnels are shut, and Coney Island looks eerie, like Guadalcanal just before the Marines hit the beach.
In the meantime, just before they shut down the bridge, I went to Brooklyn, to Norman Mailer’s house, now inhabited by his son Michael, got completely crocked and proceeded to the Boom Boom room, the best nightclub in the Bagel. Once up there, I got a bit confused but chatted up a beautiful girl who seemed awfully friendly and nice. She asked me what I did and I told her I was a bodyguard to a movie producer, but she laughed and said I didn’t look like a bodyguard. We got on swimmingly as they say, and the night went by rather quickly. I have no idea how I got home but the next day Michael called and congratulated me. ‘She was very pretty,’ he said. ‘And she liked you a lot, wanted to see you again.’ I asked him if he got her name. He laughed. ‘Are you putting me on?’ I had no idea what he was on about. ‘You mean to tell me you didn’t know you were with Lindsay Lohan? Cut the bs.’ Goes to show that one should never believe the tabloids. She was pretty as a picture and a very sweet girl and I will see her again, if Sandy doesn’t get me first.
Also in Society
Also by Taki
Latest
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in