Deborah Ross

The Icelandic version was better – and had better knits: Rams reviewed

It's like being trapped in an overlong episode of All Creatures Great and Small

The perpetually handsome Sam Neill in Rams

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Directed by Jeremy Sims, what was once an intense, pared-back, gripping tale of fraternal friction now goes all round the houses. I suppose I should stop comparing this with the original, even if that is hard (how do you unsee a film you’ve seen?) and ask whether it succeeds on its own terms. In some ways it does. There’s a particularly affecting scene, for example, when Colin decides that no one else gets to slaughter his beloved ‘girls’. But it works because it’s close to the original, and there I go again — can’t be helped, it would appear.

Most disappointingly, the film doesn’t trust the audience to work anything out for themselves. When Colin has to make a repair, for instance, it seems we have to go with him to the store to buy materials, which isn’t actually necessary. So there’s dead time. The script, too, spells everything out, whereas a smart script always knows that what’s most important is what isn’t said (that’s what made The Dig so excellent). More worrying, subplots have been grafted on, including bush fires, a cartoonish ministry man and a (half-hearted) romance for Colin involving the local ‘Pommie’ vet, as played by Miranda Richardson, who mostly looks embarrassed in a kind of what-am-I-doing-here way? Don’t come to me for answers, love, as I genuinely cannot say. As for the comedy, it is not dark and sly and integral as it has a contrived feel and relies quite significantly on a can of air-freshener.

If you are coming to this for the first time, you may find it decent enough. You may even enjoy its undemanding nature and the sentimental ending. But mostly I would steer you towards the original, available for a few quid at the BFI site or on Amazon. Better film and also: better knits.

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