Rod Liddle
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So, where should it go next? You’d get very good odds on Nolbert Kunonga, the berserk Bishop of Harare, being the next Archbishop of Canterbury. This maniacally homophobic thug was imposed upon the Church by Robert Mugabe and immediately began nicking Anglican property and having more traditional worshippers beaten up. Nolbert would certainly bring a little zest to the proceedings but sadly he is not in the running. Instead we have two prominent candidates — and regrettably, neither of them are Michael Nazir-Ali, the former Bishop of Rochester, either. He retired two years ago having looked, one assumes, ever more askance at the church’s sublimation before Islam, not to mention its fashionable metropolitan liberal bias. Nazir-Ali is a Pakistani by birth, so he knows of what he speaks when he attacks Islam for its intransigence and hostility and indeed its sense of perpetual victimhood. Further, his view that multiculturalism was ‘newfangled and insecure’ ran at odds to the views of Lambeth Palace, even if it was in accordance with the views of most people in the country. But he is gone, which is a shame. Much of his time now is spent attempting to protect persecuted Christian minorities in Islamic hellholes, a chore which has been overlooked for a long while by Lambeth Palace.
•••
This leaves us with Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London, and John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York. Both are decent men, both are — in the very broadest sense of the term — conservative, by which I mean only that they are not bien-pensant liberal. Neither is so gung-ho for sodomy as the more ‘radical’ elements of the church might like. One has an ecclesiastical beard and is much liked by the royal family — another institution where managing decline is the imperative, you might argue. The other is black and is terribly popular with the media.
Chartres was overlooked last time around, presumably for political reasons, despite having been the favourite. He is a traditionalist who nonetheless mixes well with liberals: he had a strong relationship with the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Robert Runcie, who on social issues was of course further to the left than a fish-fork. He is given to the occasional weirdo pronouncement, such as that it is deeply sinful to fly on an aeroplane, a statement which brought a long guffaw from the boss of Ryanair, Michael O’Leary. On the subject of homosexual priests, Chartres seems to believe that homosexuals should be welcomed into the Church but should try to refrain from buggery, if at all possible. A priest should be either celibate or living within a faithful heterosexual relationship, and further he is not terribly fond of women priests. The vote of the Queen, by the way, did not help him very much last time around.
Which leaves John Tucker Mugabi Sentamu, Ugandan-born and easily our most charismatic — in the secular sense — churchman we have at the moment. For this, he is sometimes pilloried: for grandstanding, showboating and what have you. But you have to say, the Church of England could do with a little bit of charisma right now. He is outspoken; he was fantastically acute about New Labour, for example, suggesting that the government was ‘sacrificing liberty in favour of an abused form of equality — not a meaningful equality but one based upon diktat and bureaucracy which overreaches into the realm of personal conscience’. That, I think you will agree, is good stuff. Indeed, his views on the now despised creed of multiculturalism would have landed him in hot water were he not himself black. Multiculturalism was a betrayal, he argued, which led to the isolation of communities. The vast majority of people in Britain, he suggested, wished to get along peaceably enough with their neighbours, no matter from what ethnic background or religious denomination they hailed. There will always be a small tranche at the margins who will refuse to get along with anyone, ‘but you cannot use legislation to cure a minority. It will not work.’ He is not terribly keen on gay marriage, which would put him at odds with the present government, and he has been as outspoken about Islam as Michael Nazir-Ali, having on at least one occasion accused the BBC of being ‘frightened’ to criticise Islam, and on another of attacking the state-led persecution of British Christians in the workplace. As a black African himself, he may be a unifying appointment for the Church of England; as a populist his views will not alienate his British Christian congregation. He is not a ‘large C’ Conservative and may find himself at odds with the present administration. But he is the best bet for the Church, by some margin.
RICHARD CHARTRES BISHOP OF LONDON – 6/4
If archbishops were appointed on the basis of looking the part, he would be a shoo-in. With his fastidiously groomed beard and stentorian voice, he offers unrivalled gravitas for the big occasions. A friend of Prince Charles since their time at Cambridge University, he would no doubt be the establishment choice. But he views women clergy with the same fondness as an unclipped whisker, and the Church is about to make them bishops.
JOHN SENTAMU ARCHBISHOP OF YORK – 7/4
The Ugandan has a common touch, rare among his colleagues, that makes him popular with the media. He is principled and charismatic — the perfect antidote to Williams. He less well-liked in the Church, however. Senior clergy use the acronym of his episcopal title, ABY, to mean Anyone But York.
CHRISTOPHER COCKSWORTH BISHOP OF COVENTRY- 6/1
The youngest bishop in the Church is emerging as a likely successor to Rowan Williams despite, or maybe because of, the fact his profile is relatively low. Where Dr Williams’s promotion deeply divided liberals and evangelicals, Cocksworth’s experience in a city famous for being a centre of reconciliation could be just what the Church craves after years of turbulence. He has written at length about the challenges facing the modern Church.
NICK BAINES BISHOP OF BRADFORD – 5/1
Blogs and tweets on everything from Liverpool FC and the Beatles to ecumenical relationships with churches in Germany. A regular on Radio 2’s Pause for Thought, he understands the media and has shown he is unafraid to take it on. Baines went to a comprehensive and spent most of his ministry in urban parishes. He is from the evangelical wing of the Church, yet liked by liberals, who regard him as inclusive towards gays.
TOM WRIGHT FORMER BISHOP OF DURHAM – 8/1
the Church of England lost one of its greatest minds when N.T. Wright returned to academia in 2010. His critics would argue that he never really left the professorial life, given he spent much of his time as bishop travelling the world to give lectures, but the evangelicals would welcome the return of a heavyweight who shares their conservative views. While widely admired by fellow bishops, he was not widely liked, being seen as a poor team player.
Assessments: Jonathan Wynne-Jones. Odds: William Hill
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