Toby Young
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Still, I haven’t fared too badly. I’ve edited a magazine, written a bestselling book, starred in a one-man show, co-authored a prize-winning play, co-produced a Hollywood movie and set up a school.
In addition, I still have plenty of ambitions left. I’m working on another comic play, this one set in the parliamentary lobby, and the itch to write a novel has returned. Fifty may be too late to embark on a career as a racing driver, but it’s quite a good age to think about becoming a novelist. Tom Wolfe, the American journalist, decided to write a novel at the age of 50. Six years later, he published The Bonfire of the Vanities, one of the high points of late 20th-century American fiction.
Another thing I’m quite excited about is my Unite the Right idea. Since running it up the flagpole in The Spectator a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been contacted by over 250 people, including an ex-MP, a serving member of the House of Lords and numerous local councillors. There seems to be a real appetite among both Ukip-
pers and Conservatives to do whatever it takes to stop Miliband and secure an EU referendum. That impetus will only grow as 2015 approaches, particularly after Ukip tops the poll in the European election next year. Anyone interested in getting involved should email me at conukip@gmail.com.
But the main reason I’m coping so well, I think, is because I’m happily married with four children. According to the boffins, some men get depressed when they hit their half-century because it coincides with their children leaving home. Incredible as it may sound, they feel a sense of loss when their children become financially independent. They’re no longer needed. As husbands and fathers, their job is basically done. Their main role in the family from now on will be to perform grand-parent duties.
Not so in my case. I left it so late to get married and start a family that my four are still quite little. By my calculations, I’ll be 63 by the time my youngest leaves home for university (or a spell in the army) and I’m sure I’ll be ‘needed’ for long after that. Retirement? Chance would be a fine thing.
The other benefit of having lots of children is that you can transfer your ambitions to them. In this way, you can let go of your dreams without having to admit defeat.
‘Looking after children can be a subtle way of giving up,’ says a character in Mother’s Milk, Edward St Aubyn’s midlife novel. ‘They become the whole ones, the well ones, the postponement of happiness, the ones who won’t drink too much, give up, get divorced, become mentally ill. The part of oneself that’s fighting against decay and depression is transferred to guarding them against decay and depression. In the meantime one decays and gets depressed.’
That seems to be working out quite well for me.
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