Mary Killen
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Q. I recently attended the Ashes Test match at Lord’s. The form is for members to queue at the two main gates as pavilion seats are unreserved, and thus for the best choice it is better to be near the front of the queue. Many members are in line for some hours before the gates open. How then should one deal with those other members and friends of members who breeze up just before the gates open and join their companions in the queue, thus effectively jumping some hundreds of places in the line? Should one comment, or is a withering look enough?
M.E., Harrow on the Hill, Middlesex
A. Some of these queue-bargers are opportunists. Spotting a friend, or even a mere acquaintance, near the front of the queue, they horn in as though they are all in a pre-arranged group outing and the bona fide queuers are just keeping their places for them. Others have genuinely made that arrangement. Either way, it is dispiriting for those, like yourselves, who have put in the queueing hours. However, you can at least call the bluff of the opportunists by wearing fluorescent yellow body bands as favoured by cyclists. As you suddenly emerge from behind to request that these people take their places at the back of the queue they will be momentarily confused by the bogus air of authority lent to you by the fluorescence and will assume they have been outed by officialdom. If they fail to go quietly, you will at least have the satisfaction of hearing them spluttering their excuses while the rest of the queue looks on disapprovingly.
Q. The solution to the problem of the aperture of the pyjama trousers inadvertently being too revealing (20 August) is surely to wear a dressing-gown.
E.E., London SW6
A. Other correspondents have made this suggestion. The reality is that during the stretching and crouching movements necessary for breakfast production, dressing-gowns gape open too. An apron, by contrast, would be certain to offer a full screen-off facility.
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