Spectator poems
From the magazine

The Golden Bidet of Lerici

Julian Stannard
EXPLORE THE ISSUE 12 July 2025
issue 12 July 2025

Only I was allowed to sit

on the Golden Bidet of Lerici.

Lord Byron sat on it

as well as Percy Bysshe and Mary.

D.H. Lawrence swung by

and perched there like a demigod –

as well as Frieda von Richthofen.

Virginia Woolf sat on it in 1933

knocking out a beautiful sentence –

Max Beerbohm banging at the door.

Henry James dropped his drawers

to sit on that glittering throne,

his buttocks pale and tragic.

I bestraddle the cosmic rocket.

Five, four, three, two, one…