KJ Lamb

‘We’ll have a red – but not full-bodied’

‘Which pop group did you disapprove of in the war, Daddy?’

‘Why wasn’t he put on Ozempic?’

‘A bottle of your robust red to go with the gentle parenting.’

‘What can you recommend that’s influencer-approved?’

‘Anyone legally defined as a woman and children first.’

‘Have you got anything protein-enriched?’

‘Run along and press play.’

‘Oh will you stop doomscrolling!’

‘Please mind the gap between your income and the cost of rail travel.’

‘We don’t say mad, Caspar – they’re March hares with complex mental health issues.’

‘I want something that will raise a few eyebrows.’

Hide and DeepSeek

‘I’m not sure about this rewilding initiative.’

‘Excuse me – would you mind?’