Paul Wood
Wednesday
Wednesday
Relax, you won’t see two-tier policing
‘Relax, you won’t see two-tier policing at this station...’
Wednesday
Lost his seat
‘It’s all Jacob does since he lost his seat’
Wednesday
There are a lot of independents hoping to win this constituency
‘There are a lot of independents hoping to win this constituency.’
Wednesday
Can you tell me what the money will be used for?
‘Can you tell me what the money will be used for?’
Wednesday
He said don’t make him look all King Charlesy
‘He said don’t make him look all King Charlesy.’
Wednesday
I have a confession
‘I have a confession. I’ve never tried his recipes – I just like saying Ottolenghi.’
Wednesday
Do you promise?
‘And do you promise to love, honour and not change gender?’
Wednesday
Taylor Swift eats her broccoli
‘Taylor Swift eats her broccoli.’
Monday
He’s right, kids
‘He’s right, kids, there’s nothing here that bans short selling.’
Wednesday
Never swap a boot for a croc
‘Never swap a boot for a croc...’
Wednesday
Lifestyle choice
‘It’s a lifestyle choice – my wife hates me snoring in bed.’
Wednesday
It’s even harder to read
‘It’s even harder to read – there’s a chapter dedicated to pronouns.’
Wednesday
Systems analyst
‘Apparently he’s some kind of systems analyst.’
Apparently we need a TV licence
‘Apparently we need a TV licence.’
Wednesday
I got the M25 down to a walking pace but nobody noticed
‘I got the M25 down to a walking pace but nobody noticed.’
Wednesday
Wednesday
We have cancelled your bank account
‘We have cancelled your bank account: you can pass go, but you can’t collect £200…’