Dave – 7 March 2013
Cartoons
Toilets
‘They’ve been closed to stop benefit tourists from using them.’
Dogs 2
‘I’ve got a book in me.’
Architects
‘Form follows function, Mr Chairman.’
Mirren
‘And don’t go rushing back to work, Ma’am. I hear that Helen Mirren is doing an excellent job.’
Afterlife
‘If I’d known I was going to get charged extra to bring this stuff on my journey to the next world, I wouldn’t have been buried with so much of it.’
Congregation
‘The congregation’s adamant, Vicar — she’s against gay marriage.’
Pitcher
‘It’s a prequel!’
Cardinal
‘I’m finished as a cardinal — I think I’ll become a Liberal Democrat.’
Downsize
‘Think of it as downsizing.’
Banker 2
‘Outrageous, disgraceful, unfair — and that’s just my bonus!’
Invitation
‘We’re invited to dinner at the Biebers’ — seven for nine-thirty.’
Balloon
‘Don’t tell me you’re STILL depressed.’
